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Peculiar Flavor Special Edition: Kaz Blart’s Guide to the Multiverse’s Most Luxurious Homes

Peculiar Flavor was on vacation for the last couple of weeks. But because we’re so addicted to that sweet, sweet ad revenue, we hosted some syndicated content from the local pennysaver: Kaz Blart’s Guide to the Multiverse’s Most Luxurious Homes. Here are just a few of the posts that ran at Peculiar Flavor. To see all of Kaz Blart’s real estate listings, visit www.MultiverseHomes.forsale.

The Peculiar Flavor Roundup will return with its usual fare next week. If you can’t wait, head over to FlavorText.LOL and follow along with new posts every day.

 

Selesnya Loft Gardens

Selesnya Loft Gardens:

1 bd, 1.5 ba – The Lofts at Selesnya Gardens, a newly gentrified urban-living complex full of metropolitan hipsters, yupsters, and in-denial Baby Boomers. Neighborhood is so “in” that Whole Foods can’t even get a lease here without going on a 10-month waiting list.

 

Pools of Becoming

Pools of Becoming:

1 bd, 1 ba – Serene rental property with a great view of “The Horns” as locals affectionately call it. Landlord is cunning, malevolent dragon bent on manipulating the Multiverse to his own nefarious ends. But the apartment’s rent controlled so, it’s probably still worth it.

 

Panopticon

Panopticon:

2 bds, 2 ba – Hip condo in the heart of Old Mirrodin. Great views of literally everywhere on the plane, though recent waves of Phyrexian immigrants have changed the character of the neighborhood somewhat.

 

The Æther Flues

The Æther Flues:

2 bds, 1 ba – Convenient condo living minutes from Downtown Iquatana. Building has a No Dogs policy, however flying space jellyfish are acceptable with an additional $100 deposit.

 

The Maelstrom

The Maelstrom:

4 bds, 2 ba – Turn-of-the-century Tudor conveniently located equidistant to the five shards of Alara. Home is likely to be sucked into a vortex of pure mana at some point, so house flippers may find this one a fun challenge.

 

Sea of Sand

Sea of Sand:

1 bd, 1.5 ba – Soak in the sun in your very own Rabiahi townhome. Save bundles on burdensome utility bills… as you will have literally no access to any water, electricity, or cable out here.

 

Turri Island

Turri Island:

20 bds, 24 ba – Converted from a boutique hotel that closed due to a spate of high-profile shark attacks, this charming abode was more recently renovated to accommodate a Bond villain’s secret death-ray laboratory.


 

Make sure to check out all of Kaz Blart’s listings at www.MultiverseHomes.forsale.

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