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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – Flawed, Flammable Floats

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Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

On this Roundup: Initiates of the Black Mana Battery, Breath of Life, and Goblin War Wagon

 

Black Mana Battery:

Dammit. The instructions say this spell takes AAA skulls. Maude! Maude, get your things, we have to go back to Walmart again!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Breath of Life:

The sounds of battle suddenly died out as soldiers around the young cleric stopped and stared wide-eyed. “Did, uh,” stammered one warrior haltingly, “did anyone else just see the tiny white man fly out of that guy’s mouth?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Goblin War Wagon:

Unhappy with their position in the middle of the town’s Thanksgiving parade, the 4-H club proceeded to set all the floats ahead of them on fire.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is there a card you’d like to see infused with a Peculiar Flavor? Request it!

*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff

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