Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!
Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.
On this Roundup: Initiates of the Black Mana Battery, Breath of Life, and Goblin War Wagon
Dammit. The instructions say this spell takes AAA skulls. Maude! Maude, get your things, we have to go back to Walmart again!”
The sounds of battle suddenly died out as soldiers around the young cleric stopped and stared wide-eyed. “Did, uh,” stammered one warrior haltingly, “did anyone else just see the tiny white man fly out of that guy’s mouth?”
Unhappy with their position in the middle of the town’s Thanksgiving parade, the 4-H club proceeded to set all the floats ahead of them on fire.
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*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff