Peculiar Flavor Roundup – Volleyball to Venom Ratio

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

On this Roundup: Nafs Asp, Browbeat, Consume Spirit, and Slice and Dice!

Nafs Asp:

It is said that its bite is more painful than getting hit by 100,000 volleyballs. It is also said that we should adhere to more standardized metrics for subjective levels of pain.

Browbeat:

“Honey, please, don’t make a scene, he’s just doing his job. If he says the breakfast menu ends at 10:30, then it ends at 10:30.”

Consume Spirit:

“Sorin, in his defense, I think the ‘tiniest fragment’ of spirit you took was the bit that controlled his lungs.” -Terence, the Sarcaster

Slice and Dice:

Dr. Karamundian became the first to perform a triple-donor organ transplant in the hospital’s history. As to why he had the patients remain standing during the operation, it is assumed he was just showing off.

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*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff