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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – Uril, the Dissed Stalker

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

On this Roundup: Tinker, Dwarven Grunt, Zuran Enchanter, and Urza’s Mine!


“No capacity for self-improvement? My colossal, hairy butt we don’t! I’ll have you know I’m taking an online art history course and I just started doing hot yoga.” -Uril, the Miststalker









Dwarven Grunt:

“Transparent as Saran wrap and twice as clingy.” -Dwarven insult








Zuran Enchanter:

“He’s just so proud of that butterfly paperweight his granddaughter ‘made’ for his birthday; he keeps showing it to everyone at the senior center. I don’t have the heart to tell him that they’re five bucks each down at Staples.”









Urza’s Mine:

Those caught sneaking into Disneyland are put on this “ride” deep beneath Anaheim. Five or six years of hard labor in the Happiest Mine Under Earth is usually enough to work off the cost of a ticket.









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