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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – It Was My Understanding That There Would Be No Math

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

On this Roundup: Prime Speaker Zegana, Deicide, Survey the Wreckage, and Field Surgeon!


Prime Speaker ZeganaPrime Speaker Zegana:

“Okay, are you ready for my phone number? It’s 73(3×3) – (2+2)5(2-2)(2^3). Yes, I can repeat that. Sorry, I have a neurological condition that only allows me to speak in prime numbers.” –Prime Speaker Zegana












“I’ve got good news, Elspeth: According to the Meletis Supreme Court, deicide isn’t technically a crime since gods aren’t a federally protected species.” –Melio Lokatopolis, attorney-at-law








Survey the Wreckage


Survey the Wreckage:

Three goblins are a party. Two goblins are the entertainment. But beware a single goblin: It’s probably bored and will try to burn your home to the ground.









Field Surgeon

Field Surgeon:

“Nurse, please hold him down. I need to get this blindfold on so he can’t identify us after we take his wallet.”











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*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff

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