Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!
Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.
On this Roundup: Natural Affinity, Hired Torturer, and Sand Silos
Strategically, there was no point in the dryads teaching the trees to dance to “Thriller,” but at least the video went viral.
Buffalo Brent’s main challenge was writing a post that would set him apart from all the amateur psychopathic murderers advertising on Craigslist.
It’s not entirely clear which policy was more ill-conceived: storing the national sugar cube reserves in the sand silos, or building said silos during low tide.
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*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff