Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!
Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.
On this Roundup: Pale Bears, Spirit Away, Cathedral of Serra, and Quagmire!
“God, Mom, that’s so racist. They prefer to be called Indo-European bears.” –Madison Coldeyes, Balduvian heiress
… But then the spirit went into a solo rendition of Aladdin’s “A Whole New World,” which seemed to calm Tolo down a bit. “DON’T YOU DARE CLOSE YOUR EYES!” Never mind, it got creepy again.
“Serra, I understand that it’s a common fantasy trope, but as your architect, I’m telling you that building an unnecessary, impractical bridge over to that islet is going to cost as much as the entire rest of the cathedral.”
All of Michael Jackson’s backup dancers were fiercely professional. One even sank to his death in a swamp during production of the “Thriller” music video. He never missed a beat.
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*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff