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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – Somebody Skipped the Chapter on Viscosity

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Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

On this Roundup: Giant Octopus, Sedge Scorpion, Ancestral Recall, and Cho-Manno’s Blessing!

 

Giant Octopus:

Well, also Acetone. The only things that flow faster than water are fear and acetone. And methanol. Oh, and benzene. Benzene, methanol, acetone, and fear flow faster than water, but that’s it. Crap, forgot about liquid nitrogen…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sedge Scorpion:

Pappaconstantinos the Unremarkable

Seller of baked goods

Father of two

Choked on his tongue laughing at Thakolides’ gravestone inscription


 

 

 

 

 

Ancestral Recall:

Greg clapped his hands over his ears. “Don’t listen to them,” he told himself. “You aren’t broken, they’re… they’re all just jealous of how powerful you are.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cho-Manno’s Blessing:

“Sure, you’ve bought other brands of soap-on-a-rope before, but I ask you: How many have smelled this good?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is there a card you’d like to see infused with a Peculiar Flavor? Request it!

*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff

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