Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!
Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.
On this Roundup: Progenitus, Pacifism, Extract, and Shapeshifter!
“I can’t believe you’ve been taken in by this hoax. It’s the same as that Loch Ness ‘Monster’ photo, which was just a log in the water. This time, it’s five logs… five, 7,000-foot-long logs floating in the sky.”
“I can understand dropping the sword in the name of peace, but he probably wouldn’t have frozen to death if he had just kept some of his armor on.”
“To be fair, I only told him I was 100% confident we could remove the brain tumor. I never claimed he would survive the procedure.”
As he lay on his deathbed, his entire life flashed before his eyes: That time he got in a sword fight, that time he got in a sword fight while apprenticing for the Blue Man Group, and that time he went trick-or-treating as Darth Vader.
Is there a card you’d like to see infused with a Peculiar Flavor? Request it!
*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff