Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!
Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.
On this Roundup: Satyr Rambler, Nature’s Blessing, Brimaz, King of Oreskos, and Offalsnout!
The prince looked down at the glass slipper in his hand, then at Xenagos’ hoof. “Uh, something tells me we can safely rule out all the satyrs. Moving on!”
“Ohhh, oh, okay: It comes from their feet. When you told me they’d be spraying a yellow liquid into my eyes, I feared the worst.” -Pjorif, initiate of the Juniper Order
Brimaz was done waiting for the weather to cooperate; after renting three industrial fans, he was finally satisfied that his wardrobe would look dramatic enough for the cover of Cat Fancy Magazine.
Oddly enough, every part of it tastes like chicken.
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*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff