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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – PBR PBR Everywhere, Nor Any Drop to Drink

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Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

On this Roundup: Will-O’-The-Wisp, Burning-Tree Shaman, Blind Seer, and Conquering Manticore!

 

Will-O’-The-Wisp

“Out and about, with friends, no doubt

The hipsters dance to alt-punk blues;

The shot glasses, like felled albatrosses

Were discarded, having emptied of booze.”

—Not Samuel Taylor Coleridge, “The Rime of the Ancient Twenty-Something”


 

 

 

 

Burning-Tree Shaman:

Ironically, keeping track of such forbidden acts eventually forced the shamans to develop highly sophisticated spreadsheets and an electronic database of chronic offenders.

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

Blind Seer:

“Oh, so when all he had was an astigmatism, he was just some kook, but then he gouges out his own eyes and suddenly all his prophecies are wise and astounding?” —Struggling tarot card reader

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Conquering Masticore:

It also takes no showers, yet somehow its mane always smells of daisies, fresh laundry, and children’s laughter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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