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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – Occupational Hazards

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

As a quick note, in addition to the URL above, Peculiar Flavor can now be found at FlavorText.LOL. It goes to the exact same site, I just thought it’d be fun to have a dedicated domain name.

On this Roundup: Matopi Golem, Illicit Auction, Culling Dais, and Ordruun Veteran!

 

Matopi GolemMatopi Golem:

It only takes a single workplace accident for the average port-a-potty extraction engineer to quit their job.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Illicit Auction

Illicit Auction:

“Okay, in hindsight, auctioning an incredibly valuable elephant while it’s perched precariously on a narrow pillar was not our best idea. Incidentally, you’d be surprised how much you can still get for a bunch of slightly damaged elephant meat.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Culling Dais

Culling Dais:

Recent focus group feedback suggests some negative reactions to “Culling Dais,” so going forward, please refer to this piece of equipment as a “Population Re-Balancer.” –Jin-Gitaxias, memo to staff

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ordruun Veteran

Ordruun Veteran:

“Dirty no-good savages. Don’t worry, I can use that word. I’m half Gruul.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is there a card you’d like to see infused with a Peculiar Flavor? Request it!

*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff

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