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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – Oaf of the Gut Wrench

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

As a quick note, in addition to the URL above, Peculiar Flavor can now be found at FlavorText.LOL. It goes to the exact same site, I just thought it’d be fun to have a dedicated domain name.

On this Roundup, to celebrate the release of the full Oath of the Gatewatch set list: Zendikar Resurgent, Thought-Knot Seer, Steppe Glider, Kozilek’s Shrieker, and Oath of Jace!

 

Zendikar ResurgentZendikar Resurgent:

“Nissa, it doesn’t matter how perfect the lighting is, I don’t want you waking me up at dawn the next time you have some street art to show us. You ain’t exactly Banksy, m’kay?” –Chandra Nalaar


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thought-Knot Seer

Thought-Knot Seer:

“So what if the school district’s getting sued, it’s their own fault for cutting the P.E. budget! The kid wanted to play dodgeball but all I had available was leftover equipment from the bowling team. What was I supposed to do?” –Coach Tompkins

 


 

 

 

 

 

Steppe Glider

Steppe Glider:

“Oh, sure, a flying boulder sounds dumb to you now, but remember, people once thought the same thing about iron boats, too.”


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kozilek's Shrieker

Kozilek’s Shrieker:

“Nah, I was looking right at it and I’m pretty sure that sound came from de mouth, not de feet.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oath of Jace

Oath of Jace:

Jace’s Resolutions for 2016:
• Take Gideon up on offer to join Pilates
• Get back into mind sculpting
• Stop thinking so much about Liliana while in the shower

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is there a card you’d like to see infused with a Peculiar Flavor? Request it!

*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff

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