Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!
Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.
On this Roundup: No-Dachi, Lost Soul, Joven, and Make a Wish!
It is only a no-dachi when sheathed. When drawn upon an enemy in anger, it is a no-no-no-please-don’t-dachi.
Her steps make no sound, for she wears heavy wool socks,/ Her feet leave no tracks, for she only walks on rocks./ She whispers your name, for her voice is long gone,/ It was lost at a concert. Whose? Celine Dion.
Joven and his band, Snarg’s House of Sin, were centuries ahead of their time in heavy metal music. Too ahead, as it turned out: Eyeliner technology was readily available, but with the invention of electricity generations away, their concerts weren’t exactly jumpin’.
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*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff