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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – Net-Zero-Year Elixir

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

As a quick note, in addition to the URL above, Peculiar Flavor can now be found at FlavorText.LOL. It goes to the exact same site, I just thought it’d be fun to have a dedicated domain name.

On this Roundup: Thousand-Year Elixir, Saprazzan Breaker, Deny Reality, and Encrust!


Thousand-Year ElixirThousand-Year Elixir:

“Good news, I’ve developed an elixir that will extend your life by a thousand years. Uh, one catch: It does take one thousand years to reach full potency, so… I hope you’ve got that kind of time to wait around.”










Saprazzan Breaker

Saprazzan Breaker:

“Hey there, kids. Sorry to interrupt, but your parents hired me to spy on you two during your little beach date and break up the mood in case things got a little too ‘hands-y.’”









Deny Reality

Deny Reality:

Plekmak would be forced to cast a Deny Reality spell on himself whenever he glanced at his checking account balance.












“… Fortunately, its first defense is a fleet of nuclear attack subs, so it doesn’t usually come down to that.” –Hephild, merfolk defense contractor











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*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff

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