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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – Navigating via GPS (Guinness, Pilsner, and Stout)

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

As a quick note, in addition to the URL above, Peculiar Flavor can now be found at FlavorText.LOL. It goes to the exact same site, I just thought it’d be fun to have a dedicated domain name.

On this Roundup: Star Compass, Planeswalker’s Mirth, Warped Physique, and Primal Command!


Star CompassStar Compass:

“This thing is clearly broken: It’s pointing me to where I sleep, sure, but home is where the beer is.” –Terence, the Sarcaster











Planeswalker's Mirth

Planeswalker’s Mirth:

Planeswalkers play “pull my finger” much like anyone else, except they have the ability to whisk themselves to another plane, leaving others to suffer the gassy consequences.









Warped Physique

Warped Physique:

“I told him not to skip leg day.” –Mirko Vosk, personal trainer










Primal Command

Primal Command:

Most scented Christmas candles waft a sweet evergreen aroma throughout your room. These exploding Christmas candles, on the other hand, smell like a giant’s been swatting your entire house with a pine tree since Thanksgiving.










Is there a card you’d like to see infused with a Peculiar Flavor? Request it!

*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff

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