Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!
Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.
On this Roundup: Splinter Twin, Helium Squirter, Caltrops, and Soraya the Falconer!
The sisters attempted to pull off the old “which twin actually did it” defense, failing to account for the fact that the cops would probably only arrest the one carrying the giant, bloodstained sword.
The intent of most anti-aircraft guns is to shoot down the enemy. The Simic thought it’d be funnier to make their enemies unable to land… ever.
“Well, apparently the kids are really committed to catching Santa Claus in the act this year.”
“Some jerk once implied I only do falcons because I wasn’t good enough to train all types of birds. I had my guys peck out his eyes and rip out his tongue.” –Soraya the Falconer
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*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff