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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – It’s Just a Love Machine

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

As a quick note, in addition to the URL above, Peculiar Flavor can now be found at FlavorText.LOL. It goes to the exact same site, I just thought it’d be fun to have a dedicated domain name.

On this Roundup: Coldsteel Heart, Dance of the Dead, Door to Nothingness, and Keeneye Aven!

 

Coldsteel HeartColdsteel Heart:

“Always with their death machines, these Phyrexians. Why can’t they ever make, like, a hug machine, or something?” –Urza, while high


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dance of the Dead

Dance of the Dead:

“I mean, sure, that the dead are dancing at all is miraculous. I’m just saying their twerking leaves a lot to be desired.”

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Door to Nothingness

Door to Nothingness:

While its invention did significantly speed up open heart surgery, the increased risk of eternal oblivion for the surgical team was considered a major flaw.

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keeneye Aven

Keeneye Aven:

“Honey, just pull over and ask the continent for directions again.”
“I just asked it an hour ago. Are you
trying to make me look like an idiot in front of the continent?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is there a card you’d like to see infused with a Peculiar Flavor? Request it!

*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff

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