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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – Legally Distinct from Other Iron-Clad Men

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

On this Roundup: Crosis’s Attendant, Ophidian, Skizzik, and Necrite!

Crosis’s Attendant:

“Your honor, as near-canonical, crossover-fanfic timelines clearly show, our character actually predates Tony Stark and Iron Man by thousands of years. Therefore, if anything, the plaintiffs are actually infringing on our copyright.” -Transcript, Marvel Comics v. Wizards of the Coast









“Beats by Dre has done it again with this comfortable, stylish offering. Put on a pair and you’ll be numb to the rest of the world, literally.” -Amazon review for the Ophidian HD Wireless Headphones









“Don’t panic, Svann, I’m going to try to communicate with it. Hello there! Do you understand English? Give me one lethal dose of electricity for ‘Yes’ and two lethal doses of electricity for ‘No.’ ”










“Drew, we’re a bit… concerned. Instead of submitting a painted piece of artwork for Necrite, you just FedExed us a dinner plate smeared with what appears to be moldy yams and black beans.” -WotC Art Director









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