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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – Fashion Faux “Claw”

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

On this Roundup: Surrak Dragonclaw, Goblin Rabblemaster, Healing Salve, and Mind Funeral!

Surrak Dragonclaw:

Surrak was mortified when he realized he had shown up wearing the exact same species of bear head as Jessica Applesmythe. He would be the laughingstock of the entire debutante cotillion.









Goblin Rabblemaster:

Plekth’s eloquent pre-battle speeches were the very pinnacle of goblin oratory, which is to say nearly half of his sentences contained both nouns and verbs.








Healing Salve:

“Here, take this.”

“Will… will it save me?”

“No, but there’s a journalist with a camera over there and I have to make it look like I’m doing something to help you.”








Mind Funeral:

“Idiot! These Barbie doll heads turned out hideous, throw them out. No, wait… Call up Hasbro. See if their action figures need any alien heads for the new Star Wars movies…”









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