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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – First Degree Cookie Thievery

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

On this Roundup: Gempalm Avenger, Dreadwaters, Gruesome Discovery, and Sigil Blessing!


Gempalm AvengerGempalm Avenger:

“I can prove you were the thief, Gorral. You see, I coated the latest batch of cookies with glow-in-the-dark paint. You’ve been caught yellow handed! Incidentally, we should probably get you to a hospital immediately; the paint I used was incredibly toxic…”












“Kids, put on your waders and grab a shovel. We have to go rebury Grandma again.”










Gruesome Discovery

Gruesome Discovery:

“Noooooooooooo! Please, don’t leave me, Vurn! You were the only one who knew the password for the wifi router! Also, I love you, I guess.”










Sigil Blessing

Sigil Blessing:

“… And in second place, for mostly unwavering commitment and adequate strength, we confer this certificate of completion and a $5 Subway gift card.”










Is there a card you’d like to see infused with a Peculiar Flavor? Request it!

*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff

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