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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – Don’t Cry For Me Argothia

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

On this Roundup: Martyr of Spores, Crypt Rats, Bestial Menace, and Repel Intruders!


Martyr of Spores:

“Arrogant much? I wasn’t weeping for you; your stupid spores just got blown into my eyes.”










Crypt Rats:

“Once I also tolled a bell, but now it tolls for me / I only put thought into that first, awesome line, and now, something, something… reverie?” -Ubuntu chant (unfinished)









Bestial Meance:

“Bear, I want to thank you for coming down to audition today, but I’m afraid there’s only one spot open for a 2/2, and Wolf just tests better with the 18-49 demographic. Gladdys can validate your parking on your way out.”









Repel Intruders:

Though some claimed it to be overkill, after years of constant harassment, the leprechaun finally had an army capable of protecting his lucky charms from those meddlesome children.









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