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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – A Little Club Soda’ll Get That Right Out

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

On this Roundup: Thought Hemorrhage, Goblin Lyre, Recurring Insight, and Blazing Archon!


Thought HemorrhageThought Hemorrhage:

Commercials for carpet cleaning products rarely start out this dark, but the director really wanted to grab the audience’s attention right off the bat.











Goblin Lyre

Goblin Lyre:

“The Beatles? ‘Fraid I don’t know that song, sir. Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.”










Recurring Insight

Recurring Insight:

“Your cornea is perfectly healthy, but as a precaution, I’d like to shoot some LASIK beams into it to chase out the little man that’s been living in there.” –Dr. Debbel Dangmas, Dangmas Optometry Associates









Blazing Archon

Blazing Archon:

“I mean, I get that she’s going for the whole ‘justice’ motif, but I really wish she’d quit it with the blindfold. That’s the third lion she’s run off of a cliff this year.”










Is there a card you’d like to see infused with a Peculiar Flavor? Request it!

*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff

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  1. April 13, 2015 at 6:37 pm | Permalink

    I lol-ed for real at Goblin Lyre

    • April 13, 2015 at 7:22 pm | Permalink

      Hey, with that ridiculous art, I barely had to do anything.

      • Frank
        April 14, 2015 at 9:53 am | Permalink

        +1 for avoiding the obvious “No Stairway To Heaven” reference 😉

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