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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – No Bulk Discounts

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

On this Roundup: Relentless Rats, Borderland Minotaur, Elvish Piper, and Temple Acolyte!


Relentless RatsRelentless Rats:

“I’m sorry, but the price I quoted you was for a maximum of four rats. If you want me to exterminate any more than that, it’ll be extra… Well, I’m sorry you feel that way but I’ve been in this business for years and never seen more than four rats at once. Four’s a lot.”










Borderland Minotaur

Borderland Minotaur:

“Ooooh,” whispered Brygus, “okay, in that case, you probably don’t want to hear that we piled, like, ten guys in each of those graves.”










Elvish Piper

Elvish Piper:

… From Gaea’s neighbors came a noise complaint, which brought cops to break up the party, and the world was silent again.










Temple Acolyte

Temple Acolyte:

Young, yes. Inexperienced, yes. Weak, yes. Complete waste of space, sure. But inexperienced? Oh, I already said that one… um, I’m sure I had a point to make somewhere.










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