Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!
Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.
On this Roundup: Master of Cruelties, Pheres-Band Warchief, Goldmeadow Lookout, and Blessing of Leeches!
“Excuse me, but that’s doctor of cruelties, thank you very much. I didn’t defend my dissertation on flaying the innocent alive to be a mere master.”
Like most competitors on the professional Whack-a-Mole circuit, Plenorikos traveled with his own, custom-balanced mallet.
“Hey, guys, it’s the Google Street View car, let’s go wave at it!”
It was to be Lady Gaga’s most ambitious fashion statement yet, but she was turned away at the door of the MTV Music Awards over public health concerns.
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*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff