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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – Neither Animal, Vegetable, nor Dinner Roll

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

On this Roundup: Scavenging Ooze, Wall of Torches, Relearn, and Valleymaker!

 

Scavenging OozeScavenging Ooze:

Cover yourself in McDonald’s filet-o-fish sandwiches to travel through the woods unmolested. Not even the oozes will recognize it as food. –Field Survival Manual

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wall of Torches

Wall of Torches:

“See, in America, we’d call it a wall of ‘flashlights.’”

“No, no we wouldn’t…”

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Relearn

Relearn:

Pinttly had finally invented a working, aerosolized potion of forgetfulness, not realizing that someone had discovered it just minutes before: Himself… For the eighth time today.

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Valleymaker

Valleymaker:

Unfortunately for his clients’ pocketbooks, he doesn’t just charge for making a valley; he also bills for “making” two mountains.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is there a card you’d like to see infused with a Peculiar Flavor? Request it!

*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff

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