Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!
Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.
On this Roundup: Scavenging Ooze, Wall of Torches, Relearn, and Valleymaker!
Cover yourself in McDonald’s filet-o-fish sandwiches to travel through the woods unmolested. Not even the oozes will recognize it as food. –Field Survival Manual
“See, in America, we’d call it a wall of ‘flashlights.’”
“No, no we wouldn’t…”
Pinttly had finally invented a working, aerosolized potion of forgetfulness, not realizing that someone had discovered it just minutes before: Himself… For the eighth time today.
Unfortunately for his clients’ pocketbooks, he doesn’t just charge for making a valley; he also bills for “making” two mountains.
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*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff