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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – Ancient Calculator Humor

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

On this Roundup: Niv-Mizzet, the Firemind, Sarpadian Empires Vol. VII, and two new Fate Reforged cards, Dragon Bell Monk and Renowned Weaponsmith!


Niv-Mizzet, the Firemind:

“(58008)180° on an old pocket calculator = hilarious”*

*Kids, ask an older cousin to explain this to you.










Sarpadian Empires, Vol. VII

“Bro, did you watch Sarpadian Empires last night? Can you believe they killed off the Ebon Hand like that?”

“Uh, yeah bro, I already caught up on all the books. By the way, don’t get too attached to Icatia.”

“Bro, spoilers!”







Dragon Bell Monk

He did not, however, have a very good sense of smell, and the dragons soon realized that they could conduct sneak attacks from upwind, all the while farting with impunity.









Renowned Weaponsmith:

When Yomen invented the nunchuck gun at age 18, he was hailed as the most promising weaponsmith of a generation. But disappointing sales of his follow-up products – the knife grenade and the poison knife grenade – had many calling him a one-hit wonder.








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*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff

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