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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – His Actual Title is Assistant to the Regional Cenobite

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

On this Roundup: Priests of Norn, Flame Wave, Infernal Contract, and Bomber Corps!


Priests of Norn:

“For lesser transgressions, may our blessings simply burn the forsaken’s tongues like a really minty toothpaste.” Malkell Pfad, Assistant Regional Cenobite










Flame Wave:

“I also hear the rhythmic squeaking of a box-spring, but that’s probably just the young couple that moved in next door.” Oracle en-Vec










Infernal Contract:

“And after each had lost an eye,

They kissed their depth perception goodbye.”

“The Polka of the Paladins” by Weird Al Yankovic









Bomber Corps:

“Tragedy out of Ravnica today as a scheduling mix-up had the city’s bomber corps conducting their regular drills at the same time and place as the Olympic torch-lighting ceremony. There were no survivors.”









Is there a card you’d like to see infused with a Peculiar Flavor? Request it!

*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff

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