Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!
Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.
On this Roundup: Priests of Norn, Flame Wave, Infernal Contract, and Bomber Corps!
“For lesser transgressions, may our blessings simply burn the forsaken’s tongues like a really minty toothpaste.” —Malkell Pfad, Assistant Regional Cenobite
“I also hear the rhythmic squeaking of a box-spring, but that’s probably just the young couple that moved in next door.” —Oracle en-Vec
“And after each had lost an eye,
They kissed their depth perception goodbye.”
—“The Polka of the Paladins” by Weird Al Yankovic
“Tragedy out of Ravnica today as a scheduling mix-up had the city’s bomber corps conducting their regular drills at the same time and place as the Olympic torch-lighting ceremony. There were no survivors.”
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*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff