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Peculiar Flavor Roundup – All Right, Let’s Do This

Welcome to the Peculiar Flavor Roundup!

Every day at Peculiar Flavor, we bring you rejected flavor text from some of your “favorite” Magic cards. Whether it’s a visual joke, an absurd one-liner, or a response to the real flavor text, it’s guaranteed to make you laugh.* Each Monday on the Roundup, you’ll get to see a few of last week’s, ah… best entries.

On this Roundup: Avalanche Tusker, Tenza Godo’s Maul, Woodland Druid, and Consume the Meek!


Avalanche TuskerAvalanche Tusker:

“All right, we’re in a perfect spot to ambush them, but the snow pack is very fragile right now, so if the loxodons in the group can be extra careful going down, the–”










Tenza Godo's Maul

Tenza, Godo’s Maul:

“Say hello to Tenza. Its name means, That Which Will Rake Across Thy Cheek, Infecting Thee With Tetanus, and Causing Thy Progeny to Weep at Thy Lockjaw… it’s a very poetic language.”










Woodland Druid:

What is a tree?
Wait, what? You don’t know what a tree is?
What is a flower?
Are you… are you feeling okay?
What is a druid?
Oh my God, your head is bleeding, somebody call 911!








Consume the Meek

Consume the Meek:

The meek shall inherit the earth, which is convenient because all the meek and all the earth will be located in the same place: an Eldrazi’s stomach.










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*Guarantee only applies to smart, good-looking people that are cool and good at stuff

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